My good friend Angel had just started dating this Russian guy. He was from a super wealthy family and liked spending money like it came out of his kitchen faucet. She was mildly interested in him but not a whole lot more. He on the other hand, was set on making her his new girlfriend.
So she was meeting him for a casual dinner, but felt the situation was a bit forced and pretentious, so she asked me to come along.
I got to this fancy restaurant in Soho in London, and found her sitting at a table. We chatted for a while. She got a message saying he would be late. Later she got a message saying he would be really late and that we should just go ahead and order our food so we didn’t go hungry. We ordered and finished our meals.
We chatted some more, had a few laughs and a good time. He finally showed up. He ordered dinner, we hung out, had fun, things were great. We then check out the dessert menu to top off the dinner with some sweet calories. I had my mind set on the dark chocolate mousse, which sounded lovely. But before I got to order, our Russian companion said to the waiter: “Can we have one of everything on the menu, please?”
What?? Did he really say that?? Everything on the menu?? I looked at her, she looked at me, I looked at him. Who orders one of EVERYTHING on the menu?? And there were a lot of dessert choices on the menu..! I was speechless.. Did not know what to say.. Angel and I were both in disbelief, part smiling, part stunned.. turns out, the show had just gotten started..
The desserts came, and one by one they landed on the table. There weren’t room to fit them all, but the three waiters somehow managed to squeeze them all in, halfway on top of each other. It was a stunning display of sugar, fat, exquisite design and ridiculously inviting sweets.
An Italian couple enjoyed a romantic and happy evening at the table next to us. They were just as shocked by the dessert overload as we were. Mouths were gaping, eyes were stars-truck, and bodily movements had ceased. The display of excess and indulgence was the center of not just these two tables, but the entire restaurant.
Our Russian friend noticed the stares from the Italian couple. I am not sure whether he got offended or just wanted to show off a little more, but he said to them: “Does it look good? You want some dessert as well? It looks pretty yummy, doesn’t it?”
He got the waiter’s attention and said: “Can you please also get this couple one of everything on the dessert menu? It’s on me.”
At this point I was about to fall of the chair. WHO on earth does that?? What is WRONG with this crazy dude? Who is he trying to impress?? I looked at Angel. I saw the face of a woman who was so uncomfortable she’s rather be in the jungle of Congo. I too cringed. I was lost in a moment of just shutting up because I had no idea what to say. Or what to do. EVERYTHING on the menu – AGAIN???
The Italian couple politely and with exaggerated hand gestures said with a thick Italian accent: “No, no, no.., please no… not for us.” The manager came out as well and tried to persuade our friend to change his mind. But the young wealthy mind was hell-bent on getting the desserts out. After all parties folded negotiations, desserts came.
The first time we got all the desserts was embarrassing enough. This was just too much. This time it just went too far. By this point, I looked around and hoped there were nobody in this restaurant that I had seen before. It was that embarrassing.
Oh, the Italians? Their romantic dinner unfortunately turned into an awkward, very unromantic show. A show in which they, against their will, had to play a part. Wonder what they told their friends back in Italy about this crazy place called London..
OMG!! One of Everything on the menu? Is there a menu I can order this wealthy man off of? Haha!